Toaster on the Fritz
by TheOrangyOne
Summary: The only thing worse than getting publicly propositioned, was getting propositioned over the radio when traveling with a mouthy ghoul and a snarky Tunnel Snake. Poor Bran. Written for a prompt on Fallout Kink Meme.


_Written for a prompt on Fallout Kink Meme. The prompt was:_

_'Three Dog propositions the LW (of either gender, though I'd prefer a dude) live on the air while the LW is wandering the wastes some 4 days journey away from the GRN building and totally unable to respond._

_Whether Three Dog is doing it in jest, or if he is actually interested in that kid from the vault is entirely up to you.' _

**Toaster on the Fritz**

"Can you stop humming that brainwashing shit, Butch?" The infamous Lone Wanderer, Bran glared at his childhood rival.

"Fuck off, nosebleed, you know its the only thing that goes through my head when I'm not killing shit." Butch growled.

"Well shut the fuck up and listen to the goddamn radio. Maybe you'll learn a new annoying tune to hum."

"Can't we listen to something else other than this shit?" Butch complained, tossing something into the campfire they'd set up.

"It's either this or the Enclave radio shit that's still somehow playing, and that brainwashing tune is just as bad as the Vault one." Bran brushed blond hair from his face. "Besides, I like Galaxy News Radio. Three Dog is a good DJ. He tells it how it is, and gives out good news reports."

"Good news reports on you, you mean. 'The Lone Wanderer is such a Saint!' Blahblahblah."

"Butch."

"Hey, the Butch-man is just tellin' it how it is, ain't that right zombie?"

Charon didn't respond, choosing instead to keep his blue eyes scanning the area around them. Whether or not it was because of the way Butch talked to him or if he had no opinion on the subject wasn't really up for debate though, Bran knew well enough what the ghoul's thoughts were well enough.

In fact, the small twitch at the corner of the ghoul bodyguard's lips confirmed this.

"Stop calling him a zombie, he has a name." Bran sulked, changing the subject.

"Yeah, yeah." Butch settled himself, leaning back on his hands and sending Bran a look over the flames of their campfire. "Nice subject change, nosebleed."

"Fuck you, Butch, fuck you."

_'People of the Capital Wasteland, it is I Three Dog, your ruler. Hear me, and obey! Oh sorry, that's that other radio station.'_

Bran almost laughed, but stopped short as he noticed Butch giving him one of _those looks_.

_'Alright, chiiildren, its time to have a little chat. It seems that some of you are questioning why I'm only reporting on what the Vault kid has been up to, and well, to put it simply, that's because that kid is the best thing that's happened to the Capital Wasteland - besides the Brotherhood - and that's the news.'_

Butch rolled his eyes. "Fuck, does this guy ever shut up?"

"Funny, I was thinking the same thing about you."

_'Now, that being said, I also would like to put a little word out to our Wasteland Savoir. I'm not sure if you're awake this late, I mean, hell, its midnight, but you never know...'_

"And this is were he confesses his undying love for you, nosebleed, just listen."

_'Remember how ol' Three Dog asked you if you where ever in the area to stop by, because I've got a toaster that's on the fritz? Whelp, as it turns out, that toaster is still not working. How about you stop on in sometime when you get a chance and get it toastin?'_

Bran stared at his Pip-Boy, as if it'd be able to explain what that meant. "Toasting?"

"I somehow don't think he's talking about toast anymore." Charon murmered, an amused look on his face.

A beat of silence. Then Bran squeaked.

Butch threw back his head and laughed. "I fucking told you nosebleed!"

Bran glared up at the greaser, feeling the heat rise on his neck. "Shut the fuck up, Butch." When Charon's deep chuckles reached the Wanderer's ears, he turned a fiece glare onto the ghoul. "You too, Charon."

_'Well, now with that awkward business out of the way, its time for some neeews.'_

Bran shut off the radio on his Pip-Boy with a sharp click, his face red. "I think... we should get some rest. Charon, you're on first watch. I'll take second. Butch, you're on third."

"Awe, trying to get some beauty sleep before your date."

"Fuck off, Butch."

"I think I'll leave the fucking to Three Dog."

"I hate you."

–

Constructive criticism is always appreciated.


End file.
